I think we’re going to see a big shift in the way parents are talking about baby sleep.
For years, so much of the advice around infant sleep has focused on getting everything exactly right. The perfect wake window, the perfect nap schedule, the ideal bedtime and whether your baby is sleeping for the “right” amount of time.
With so much information available online, it is easy to spend hours searching for answers about your baby’s sleep, comparing sleep schedules and wondering whether you are doing something wrong.
But babies are not robots, and there is no single baby sleep schedule that works for every child.
Moving away from “perfect” baby sleep
Rather than asking, “How do I get my baby to sleep perfectly?”, I think we need to start asking, “What does sustainable sleep look like for this baby and this family?”
Every baby is different. Two babies of exactly the same age can have completely different sleep needs, and what works beautifully for your baby one month may not work the next.
Babies develop quickly, and their sleep needs can change as they grow. A routine that worked at four months might suddenly stop working at six months, and that does not necessarily mean you have created a bad habit or done something wrong.
Sometimes, your baby has simply changed.
Are wake windows becoming too important?
Wake windows can be a useful tool when looking at baby sleep, but they should be a guide rather than a rule that has to be followed to the minute.
It is easy to become so focused on the clock that you stop looking at the baby in front of you. Your baby’s behaviour, temperament, development and overall sleep pattern can all tell you something about what they need.
A ten-minute difference in a wake window is unlikely to be the difference between a good sleeper and a bad sleeper.
More information doesn’t always mean more confidence
Parents today have access to more information about baby sleep than ever before, which can be incredibly helpful.
The downside is that it can also become overwhelming.
You can Google the same question and find completely different answers, then ask ChatGPT and receive another suggestion. Before long, you can find yourself constantly changing your baby’s routine because you are worried that there might be a better way.
Sometimes, what parents need is not more information. They need help understanding which information actually applies to their baby.
A flexible baby sleep routine can still have structure
Moving away from rigid schedules does not mean having no routine.
A predictable rhythm can be really helpful, but it needs to work alongside real life. Babies get poorly, have growth spurts, learn new skills and have days where their naps simply do not go to plan.
A good sleep routine should support your family rather than make you feel like you are constantly failing to follow it.
There is a big difference between having structure and being rigid.
What does your family actually need?
This is perhaps the most important question when it comes to improving baby sleep.
Good sleep does not have to mean sleeping through the night, following a textbook schedule or never needing help to settle.
Maybe your baby wakes twice a night and you are completely happy with that. Maybe those same two wakes are leaving you exhausted and you need some support to make nights more manageable.
Both families can have babies who are sleeping normally.
The goal is not to create a baby who never wakes. The goal is to create sleep that works for your child and your family.
If you are feeling overwhelmed by wake windows, nap schedules or conflicting advice online, you do not necessarily need another Google search.
You might just need someone to look at the bigger picture with you.
If you’re wondering what a realistic sleep goal looks like for your family, that’s something we can work out together on an intro call.
Need More Support with Your Child’s Sleep?
Every child is different, and sometimes general sleep tips are not enough to solve ongoing challenges.
If you are struggling with your child’s sleep, I offer personalised, gentle sleep support for families. You can learn more about my sleep support services here and take the first step towards calmer bedtimes and better nights.
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You can also find me on Instagram @minidreamerssleep for daily tips, reassurance and realistic sleep support from one mum to another.
I’m Emily, from Mini Dreamers Sleep; a devoted mom, experienced teacher, and a baby and toddler sleep consultant. I understand first hand the challenges and joys of parenthood, and I’m here to help you and your little one achieve the peaceful, restorative sleep you and your family need. Follow me @minidreamerssleep and check out 1:1 services and guides.